J. Stuart Ablon, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, advises parents to share their feelings with their children, to help children enhance their emotional intelligence and how to deal with others.
Jeff Bostic, a psychiatrist at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital (USA), says children don’t know what their parents think if they just keep quiet. Therefore, it is advisable to fill those gaps by sharing more with children. For boys, watching their father in action, listening to his father share, and seeing it as a model to apply later. There are 9 things a father should say to his son on a regular basis.
Kind words about mom
Saying you love your children’s mother is great, but it’s not all. Explain why you love your children’s mother, for example: “Mom cooked delicious meals for us, you are wonderful”, or “Mom prepared water for us to go to football. , we have to thank mom.”
Your praise, encouragement, and encouragement for your wife, through your son, will help your child learn to show love to his future spouse.
Admits to failure and willingness to seek solutions
When something doesn’t go according to his plan, he may get angry, want to swear, want to show helplessness, frustration. But instead, honestly share your thoughts with your child: “I thought it was right, but it doesn’t work. We can try something else.”
This statement helps to teach his son two lessons: First, the father fails but is not brusque and impatient. Second, no human being is omnipotent, but everyone can choose different solutions.
Even if you’ve been out of temper, quickly take a deep breath, admit to your child that you’ve lost your temper, and then find a way to talk to your child about how to deal with it.
Opening up about your feelings, including happiness, anxiety, sadness, joy… with your child is really important. That helps teach kids – especially boys – how to express their feelings instead of denying them. This helps children deal with all their emotions without feeling alienated or wrong.
Suggestions for help
“Daddy needs help” is a way for dads to show their son that no one is perfect, that dads need help sometimes instead of being able to do everything on their own. Associate Professor J. Stuart Ablon says it’s Dad’s way of modeling that life isn’t just about carrying the work alone, but about letting others join and collaborate with you.
Words of sympathy
Listening is an effective empathy tool. It also reflects patience and generosity, which is shown in the way you ask questions, listen to your child explain, and interpret your thoughts. A father who can show empathy well helps raise a boy who listens and shares.
Explore knowledge with your child
“Do you know what landmark we’re going through, this is a historic site where your grandfather fought…” can be a way for dads to start a story and draw kids into it. Children may not be interested in that topic, may also be very interested, and of course, they will learn a lot of interesting knowledge through the exchange with you.
Explaining the value of friendship
When fathers have a good friend, someone you can meet, find laughter, advice, dedicated help… , they will show their children the value of true friendship. Interpreting the value of friendship through a realistically sincere friendship will help your son understand that in life, there are always people to be trusted.
Describe the preparation process
When you go somewhere with your child, help them arrange and prepare. You can start with: “I’ve got my bag, where’s the water bottle, where’s the towel, where’s the sunscreen?”.
All these things gradually help your child form a prepared mind, arrange everything before proceeding with a certain task. By adulthood, boys will learn to make lists and solve scientific problems – which is very necessary in a grown man.
Say sorry, accept the apology
No one is perfect, there will be times when you get angry, frustrated, make excuses and blame. However, after all that mess, what children expect from you is a modified attitude, trying to make things better.
Ablon advises: “It’s not a bad thing to make a mistake, if you say sorry in front of your kids and get their forgiveness approved. These are powerful lessons for the long haul that every child should learn. Boys need to learn in life”.
Thuy Linh (According to Fatherly)