Disciplining children is not always easy and parents are not always able to stay calm and think clearly.
According to therapist Chad Brandt, disciplining children in the wrong way is worse than not disciplining children at all: “As parents, we must question the outcomes we want when we discipline our children. The best-case scenario is that we understand what I did wrong so I can learn and correct it next time.”
Brandt points out the basic mistakes parents make in disciplining children.
Studies demonstrate that spanking and other forms of physical discipline aimed at authoritarian parenting are unhealthy. There is a lot of evidence that physical discipline can change the structure of a child’s brain.
Physical discipline puts children in a vicious cycle of mimicking adult misbehavior, causing them more trouble. “Certainly parents don’t want their kids to hit their peers when they’re doing something wrong,” says Brandt. “So, it’s completely unreasonable to apply physical discipline.”
In addition, the fear of physical punishment can cause children to hide their behavior from their parents. They lie, cover everything up because they don’t want to be spanked. Therefore, the way you discipline your body may not teach them to change their behavior, or even cause them to avoid you, lie to you more.
Try to show empathy to your children. Children need to be taught how they can handle situations more appropriately in the future. For example, if your child hits her for having a toy taken, instead of hitting her a few times, ask her how she feels about hitting her. Then you tell your child that next time, politely ask him to return the toy or tell your parents.
Discipline is too harsh
Although not spanking, many parents still discipline their children harshly. For example, if your child eats a piece of candy without asking, you will punish him for not eating snacks for a whole week. As long as your child does not do enough housework, you will punish him for not going out for a month. Discipline that is too harsh, unnecessarily, is harmful, according to experts.
Any disciplinary action should include a time limit for the child to process information. Don’t be an authoritarian parent when it comes to imposing harsh punishments on children, when they don’t do what you want.
“Children raised by authoritarian parents are at an increased risk of poor social functioning and an increased risk of mental illness,” says Julian Lagoy, MD, a psychiatrist at Community Psychiatric Care Centers in California. God”. Children who grow up with authoritarian parents are more likely to become authoritarian parents in the future.
Discipline is inconsistent
According to Brandt, the most important aspect of discipline is conforming to rules and consequences. Consistency is important, especially when children are young.
When parents’ rules and expectations are constantly changing, children will be confused even if they are behaving correctly. “Some parents stop disciplining a child when the child reacts violently,” explains Brandt. “It makes the child think that they have the freedom to do what they want and that the parent’s scolding is just a temporary inspiration.”
Parental clarity, consistency, and positivity create an environment where children can feel safe to admit their mistakes and grow up afterward.
Thuy Linh (According to Fatherly)