Devastated by My Mother’s Death

On April 23, 2010 my world changed forever. The woman that made me the woman I am today was gone. What am going to do now? How am I going to go on? Who am I going to tell my thoughts and dreams? Who will be there to love me unconditionally? All of these thoughts crossed my mind and many more. I didn’t know where to start. My life as I knew it was changed forever. I would pick up the phone to call her and tell her something great that happened and then I would remember that she wasn’t there.

My children were left with a void. She was the most amazing grandmother and was always there for her grandchildren. My kids loved spending weekends at her house because she was a hands on grandma.

I don’t know where I got the strength maybe my mother gave it to me but I stood up at her funeral and spoke about her and the impact she had on my life. This was the woman that raised me, took care of me when I was sick and I always knew how much she loved me.

The good news life does go on. People don’t stop living because someone they love dies. I had my whole life ahead of me and my mother would want me to go on and live the best life I could. I have a lot of love inside of me to give and I can’t stop living now. My kids, my sister and my father still need me. I will always have all of the great memories and I have all of the good values that my mom taught me. She taught me to be a good person and always be there for your family they should always be your first priority. She taught me how to love life and laugh and to how live a happy life. I will always carry a piece of my mom in my heart. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her and her smile. She brought happiness to this world and this world will never be the same without her.

The good news is I am going on and living the best life I possibly can. I wake up every day with a smile on my face and a positive attitude. I realized that I have two choices in my life: Give up and withdraw from life or go on and make the best of the life that I have been given. Everyday on this earth is a blessing and it should not be taken for granted. Life is fragile and can taken away in an instant and you should try and live your life with no regrets.

My mother would be so proud of the road that I have chosen. I feel her around me all of the time and I know she is watching over my dad, my sister, my kids and me and she is making sure we are all OK.

The good news is that a relationship does not end when someone dies. You can still talk to them and ask them for advice. The relationship just changes. I will never stop talking to my mom. I know that she is listening to me and watching over me. I do have bad days, we all do. I let myself cry and miss her and then I think of the good times and all the love she brought to my life and everyone around her and that brings me peace.

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